Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
