I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
