she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Why did my mother make you get naked?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize