Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
