I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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