Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
