i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
