I accidentally had phone sex last night
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
