Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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