sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
