Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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