TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
This baby is an asshole
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
