now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
