Sponge bath it is.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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