that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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