Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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