He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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