he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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