meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
