She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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