Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize