Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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