Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
