Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
