Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Dear god my vagina.
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