Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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