Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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