your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Randomize
