why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
