I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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