his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
