is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
