I am puke
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize