Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He better not be in your backpack
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
