i would punch a child for taco bell
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
