My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
