dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
