You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
