Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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