but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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