You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
