I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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