names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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