I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize