Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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