I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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