just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
false alarm. still invincible.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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