my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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