I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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