What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
