just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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