My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize