so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
