i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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