That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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