did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
