just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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