just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
