the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
