wrigley field is MILF paradise
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
