Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I could fuck to npr.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
