It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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