Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
