I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
