She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
