I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize