there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize