What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
