She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Randomize
