Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
A+ Viking dick
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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