he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
