...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
