I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
