this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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