we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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