Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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