I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Randomize
