One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
