After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
