you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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