Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
